"I want to do it because i want to do it."
- Amelia Earhart
Sometimes, late at night, when I’m weak-kneed and looking for a reason to abuse myself, I scroll through Facebook. And because of my industry, my feed is always either mom ads or fitness ads. And everytime I look at the fitness ads, I’m like WAIT, HOLD UP, how does this person have 1.3M views? Like, what? “She’s not even doing a squat well,” I think. “And, holy shit,” I say to myself, “those push-up things are a terrible idea for 99% of women.” Alas, though, she’s got her beautifully tanned tummy out, her glossy lips shining in the wind, and her punchy outfit loudly saying, “Nipple or Cheek May Appear, Keep Watching.”
So, a new little feature to MommaStrong land, based on the roots of why this program exists: That strength is about helping us do the scary sh*t in life. And, I'm not talking about bikinis like the rest of the fitness world. I'm talking about facing our personhood, facing our fears, facing our past, facing our weaknesses, facing our wildest dreams, facing our mortality, facing our humanity, and facing our children's porous and possible spirits every single day. ETC.
My sweet, amazing eldest child recently faced a terrible beast in the form of a long-distance 4th grade field trip to dig fossils. Now, obviously it's normal that a kid would be nervous with this sort of adventure, much of which we could also assume would be overshadowed by the excitement involved in a fossil dig AND a fancy bus ride AND a hotel room. However,
There ought to be a class in high school called, “Reality Check.”ve a class called, “Reality Check.” And in that class the teachers would be brave enough to share the fact that, yes, life is complicated. And this class ought to be taught by parents, who would dish it out in a real way. It’d be a real winner, this class: A combo of Scared Straight, Home Economics, and Sex Ed.
Being in the world of fitness and believing in the things I do about health is a little hard. Sure, I could easily tell you how to lose weight and get six pack. I could tell you how to be fitter than you’ve been in your whole life. I could convince you to get off sugar and live on greens. I could make this engine here have a million followers overnight
The other day, I woke up and had grown at least 3 feet. I walked around, taking my kids to school and going to meetings and working out, and just kept thinking, “Why am I so tall?” And the chairs upon which I sat felt so small and so, well, real. The steering wheel felt so cold and hard, so vinyl.
I kept thinking that I had snapped,
But, not how you think. Sure, there are medical and psychological negligences. There are missteps and horrendous oversights in how we help a woman do the most important - and hardest job - imaginable. And, while we’ve done a lot of talking and a lot of organizing about it and while I think we’re headed in the right direction, there’s one piece that hasn’t been discussed very much, if at all.
The postpartum experience and deterioration of men ...
OH LAWD. I’m just not doing this right.
Life. Love. Friendship. Business. Obligations. Motherhood. Health. ALL THIS.
None of it is going according to my intentions. It’s like my heart says, “Do That.” And my behaviors and past habits go, “But, I know better.” And my wise old sage goes, “Uh oh.” A trifecta of disaster a la Larry, Mo, and what is the third stooge’s name? Yeah, I can’t even remember that.
Most mornings I wake up and feel behind. Most nights I go to bed ...
Right before a photo shoot or a video production dealio or an appearance of some kind, I get really good at self-care. Like, I drink water. And green juice. I get a bit more sleep. I stop eating a pound of dark chocolate every night. I hold off on comfort carbs. I protect my time. I do better workouts. And it’s not just to “look” better - although fancy cameras and “live action” are damn impressive motivators - but
When we named my eldest daughter, we thought we were naming her the most unique, unheard of name in all the land. It felt magical. It felt special. We certainly thought we were gifting her something rare.
Her name is Ella.
I know. Like THE most popular girl name of my generation. My mom said ...