consigliere

Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That’s their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood.

— Gloria Steinem

I've never before in my life needed sisterhood like I need it now.  In fact, I would say perhaps that sisterhood has become the  most important thing in my life recently.  So, indulge me while I take a moment to surround myself with the gorgeousness that is the flesh of this tribe here at Momma Strong.  And also to introduce a key new member of the team behind the scenes here.

Confession:  I'm codependent.  Whew.  I said it.  And, yes, I just realized this recently.  I'm so evolved, I know. I think prior to that realization, I assumed codependency took the form of neediness and insecurity, a bumbling mushy blob of a person that couldn't do anything for herself.  So, of course, it was quite a shock when I learned that people who are codependent actually appear to be lone rangers, never asking for help and never ever being completely exposed as their true selves.  We're the fixers, the survivors, the "I can do it all-ers."  Codependency is lonely, but mostly because when the business of surviving-and-doing-and-making-it-happen-and-being-a-superstar-rock-star-go-getter-people-pleaser-perfectionist gets pulled away (which it always does), we realize how much emptiness and lack of wholeness we possess.  We scramble to dig our fingers back into a faux-center.  We will do anything not to feel the weight of saying, "Fuck me, I need help." 

So, yes, I am condependent.  But, I'm working on it.  I'm actually really working on it.  The first step to this was allowing myself to become a bumbling mushy blob of a person that couldn't do anything for herself.  And after I discovered that in doing that, I wouldn't die or be destroyed, I went to the next level:  I started reaching out.  And I started finding out who in my circle would reach back and echo my true-center.

Here's what I've learned:  You have people, women especially, around you right now that will never let you stray from your truth.  And those people often say shit you don't want to hear.  They refuse to let you dig your fingers into a faux-anything.  They will risk losing your friendship in the face of enabling your demise.  The good thing?  They also never let you give up.  Codependency dissolves when you allow those people in to your life.  Why?  Because you start to love yourself and see yourself clearly.  AND, more importantly, you start respecting their space in the world and their advice to you.  You exchange externalized victimhood for internalized power.   

I have a handful of these sorts of sisters in my life (you know who you are) and without them, who knows.  I am grateful for every moment that they are in my life and I feel a massive sense of responsibility for making the world better for them by being better in myself.  Love knows no bounds in sisterhood.    

And this is the fun part:  I'd like to introduce you to Barbie Atkinson, our new Momma Strong Consigliere (officially Chief Brand Ambassador).  Oh yes, and I mean consigliere exactly as it sounds.  Um, minus the organized crime part and the violence.  Yeah.  She is Protector.  Ambassador.  Connector.  To me and to the brand and to each of you.  

The truth is that without Barbie around these last few months, I probably would have let Momma Strong slide around as I danced ungracefully through the stresses of life.  But, she has been the badass Type A person I need, calling me out when I don't do things I say I am going to, or when my planning is more "whenever" than specific, or when I try to pile too many big ideas on top of each other, or when I take on things that are not authentically Momma Strong.  She has created amazing new partnerships that will blast this brand into outer space super soon.  Most importantly, though, she does not enable my victim voice.  She believes in me.  And she believes in the mission of Momma Strong.

Today is officially Barbie day here at Momma Strong.  Please check out her new bio and blurb on the "about" page and welcome her into the team behind the scenes.