Wowzers, change is vulnerable. Especially when it’s not premeditated, fully-in-control change. Especially when it lands you on your ass. Especially when it lands you on your ass in public.
I recently moved from a rather great situation to another rather great situation. Which means, do not feel bad for me for even for one second, even though I almost lost my entire last corners of sanity. The in-between phase of one great situation to another was insanely stressful. And, if we get really specific here, the relocation of my daily 15 filming was not exactly awesome.
My old place was cushy for filming. A huge sunlit back room, dedicated entirely to this here operation. My tiny little Sony Playsport Camera could be set up on a make-shift tripod in a room right behind that. And while my photographer friends all told me I was shooting shit quality, I knew that it was ok enough. I created a DIY microphone system to deal with sound issues, and voila, I created a pretty comfortable situation for doing what I do.
Well, once I moved, I realized that that old scenario was not even gonna be close to attainable in my new scenario. While I actually LOVE my new place more than the old place, it’s availability for filming is less than ideal. The light. The space. The fact that I can’t film in the morning without waking my wild things up FAR too early.
Ugh, it’s so hard to have to build a new system and start over. It’s so freaking yuck to watch your comfort zones pull away from you.
So, I did what I do. I looked at the new situation and I said, How Can I Make This Work? And, to be honest, I swung a wee too far into How Can I Make This Perfect? How Can I Make Up For Falling On My Ass? I researched DIY lighting equipment. I got a new camera. I even bought a backdrop system so that I could hide my furniture and look uber professional.
And, here’s what happened: I got it all set up and the entire new fancy thing failed. The lights weren’t right. The new camera wouldn’t focus. The backdrop paper was a royal pain the ass. And then when my kids were around when I had to film - which is an inevitability sometimes if I’m gonna show up every day - they decided the backdrop paper was actually a giant sand dune. And then I got irritated and frustrated with them during a workout because they were being children and then they freaked out and then the little one screamed for the entire 15 minutes about Vitamin C gummy bears and I couldn't use the workout because it was set to a soundtrack of Screaming Toddler.
Basically, Life said to me: Look here you crazy woman, keep it simple, stupid. Actually, I like to imagine that Life has a thick New York accent: Keep it simple, stoooopid.
Here’s the point of this.
If all you have as the foundation to showing up and to keep going is a comfortable, efficient, regimented, and externalized system, it will not work. It won’t. It will eventually fail you and you’ll be right back at the beginning scrambling to get back to feeling strong.
Creating a shiny, protected environment for your wellness and your productivity is a ginormous trap and it’s inherently doomed. You’ll be afraid to make a mess and you won’t be able to handle the fluid obstacles that will find your fancy backdrop to be an imaginary sand dune.
The result of the above? You’ll feel contained and you’ll feel restricted. And then guess what, you won’t show up.
This goes for your diet, your house, your relationships, your children, your workouts, your job, your everything.
When you keep it simple, the more important thing you receive is that you rely on far deeper and more stable things to help you keep going. You rely on your deep want for wellness. You rely on a power higher than you. You can laugh instead of yell when things go wrong. You can make a mess. You can be fueled by something other than expectation. Your success is dependent not upon what will happen and what you will get, but instead on how you feel and how you connect.
So, yes, my fancy new backdrop paper, named annoyingly as “fashion gray,” is staying rolled up in the ceiling in its fancy anchored and bracketed screws and my old camera is back in action and my lights will remain as “SUNLIGHT.”
And I’ll be showing up, still.