You know how it goes.A long day, a long week, a long hour, whatever it is - and you’re like, dude, I need an exit sign ushering me out of the theater of reality.Just a wee break.Just a teensy breath.
And you have some options in front of you.Some of them are old good companions.You use them a lot, for better or worse.In a lot of ways, they’re your best friends in the land of escapism and you’re very accustomed to leaning on them when you need it.
Some of them are irritating, ho-hum companions.You don’t use them often, but they always seem to appear on your resolution list or in your brain as you imagine your ideal operating procedures in life.Yet, they are mostly on-the-shelf friends only.
There’s a fine line of fuck-its, right?
One fuck-it has you diving into your best-friend option, usually involving some deliberate and quick way of numbing out.The other fuck-it has you opting for the irritating, ho-hum companion, which always involves waking up.
Both get you feeling better, the former much more quickly and with vastly more societal support and seeming fun.The latter gets you feeling better too, but in a less obvious way and certainly with less fanfare and - bummer - it sometimes takes a bit longer and certainly requires more grit (at first).
Now, before you go thinking I’m a party-pooper, I’m not.I’m all for a Netflix binge day and a chocolate love affair with a side of kettle chipes and I won’t judge your choice of letting loose via substances.There’s a time and a place for that level of humanness and, within the scope of conscious escapism, some very healthy reasons to indulge in all of the above fuck-its.
What I am talking about is the sort of stuff that perpetuates your misery.The stuff that doesn’t help you move forward.The habits that keep you off your personal Golden Thread.The choices that are deliberate and loud efforts to quiet your knowing, your truth.These fuck-its feel REALLY good when you dive into them.You feel entitled to them.And you relish in the rebellion you feel instantly.But, the fantasy dies quickly, or at least by the next day and you sense deep down inside of you that missed an opportunity to be good to yourself in a way that you truly, deeply wanted.
This fuck-it keeps you pedaling on the same path, usually a circular one, and you can - if you’re not careful - end up doing this for an entire lifetime.You think you’re moving, but you’re just kidding yourself.You end up back where you started, tons of effort exerted and the glory of the rebellion no longer holding it’s position as efficacious.
Now, the other fuck-it.Well, it does something entirely different.It gets you pedaling forward.It lets you look at the landscape with presence and joy, rather than trying to avoid falling off.It gifts you the superpower of discernment.Because you are awake and because you have chosen to be woken-up, you then get to see when escaping and rebellion are warranted and good for you.This means you get to relish in the things you love without them becoming the boon to your progress.They become a part of your pleasure, rather than a part of your distraction.And, above all else, the other fuck-it actually makes you feel better in the moment AND the morning after.I know, it’s hard to believe it’s true, but it is.
The trick here is that you’re going to have to be willing to be courageous in a moment of UGH and when you need a break to digest the burden of life.It’s pure courage that you have to summon here.The beauty is, though, that is you see it correctly, you’ll see that that courage is actually far more rebellious than the rebellion you think you’re expressing by choosing the first fuck-it.You’re rebelling against a society that asks you to numb out and be surface-level.You’re rebelling against a lifetime of learning how to NOT take care of yourself.You’re rebelling against your own will to dilute your joy.And you’re rebelling against the idea that you can’t choose something better for you.
So, while the holidays are, um, like tomorrow, I challenge you (and me) to give it a shot.Just once.Put down the fork, the bag of chips, the phone, the glass, the bottle, the gossip, the wallet ... and take three deep breaths and choose one other fuck-it that has been sitting on the shelf beckoning you towards true joy and wellness.Don’t act like you don’t know what it is.You do.Mine?Taking a deep breath.Doing Lion Pose.Excusing myself to the bathroom to shake it out like Shakira.Laughing.Singing.Asking for help.Being quiet and still until the tide passes.You know.Just once.Give it a try and then pratice it.And, then - THEN - reach for those other fuck-its when you’re conscious about them.