When I was a teenager, pretty much at least three times a week, I’d fall asleep with my face in my textbooks, only to awaken in the morning with the lights on, my day-before clothes sticking to me, and my contacts plastered to my eyeballs. And back then, contacts were hard, which meant you should never ever sleep in them.
Of course, I’d use this crusty, infected eye situation as an excuse to go to school late or to play hooky the whole day. And being the youngest (by five minutes) of four kids, my parents would just grunt frustratedly and hooky would be had.
Well, still, at age 35, I fall asleep many nights with my contacts on, lights blaring, and my face in the computer. I know, basic self care stuff. Not yet learned.
I could go on with a very long list of other self-care items I have not yet learned, each of which I give myself a VERY hard time for. Barbie often asks me if I was raised by wolves, so I’m sure she could create an even longer list for you. And I certainly tuck this list away as best as I can so that no one will see that I’m really just a toddler with a giant pile of laundry in her closet and probably hairy-ish legs. Why do I (we) do that? Because the fear is that we’ll be discovered and that somehow a giant fairy for all things Worthy will come down and steal away our Grown-Up Card and, thusly, we’ll lose our jobs, our kids, our friends, our platforms, our security, etc.
Now unless you are harming yourself or other people, this giant fairy situation is just not true. And the worst part is the that fear of discovery only breeds less progress in the area needing a lesson.
So, today, in honor of Real Deal existence, let’s drop the idea that we are supposed to have learned ALL the things. I guarantee you have some missing, grimy, slimy, hairy, whoopsie links in your self-care too. And instead of tucking them away, let’s be bold enough to confess them.
Hi world, I do NOT know how to fold laundry. I’d like to learn. Thanks.
Hi world, I do not know how to go to bed, I only know how to collapse. I’d like ot learn. Thanks.
Hi world, I really enjoy double dipping carrot sticks at parties. I’d like to learn not to. Thanks.
Hi world, I really like to eat an entire chocolate bar until I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I’d like to learn not to . Thanks.
Hi world, I’ve developed a wonderful skill of sleeping through ALL alarms in the morning. I’d like to learn not to. Thanks.
Hi world, I talk really shitty to myself all the time. I’d like to learn not to. Thanks.
Hi world. I do not know how to ___________. I’d like to learn. Thanks.
If you are brave enough, I’d love for you to join me this September in A) confessing the stuff of self-care you never learned, and B) allowing yourself to be a beginner and learn it without shame.
And before I go, I feel the need to remind you that self-care is not something you just come born with, it’s something you acquire like language. Few of us had the adequate role models of self-care, because dear lawd, your mommas were also modern mommas too. They did their best, but I guarantee it wasn’t tip top awesome. You wouldn’t get mad at a kid who wasn’t able to talk properly, right? No, you’d figure out why she wasn’t getting exposed to language or what hiccups prevented her from absorbing it. You wouldn’t say, lame kid, guess she’s a lost cause. And you certainly wouldn’t let it go for decades. No, you’d fight for her.
Time to fight for you by being willing to learn that stuff you didn’t get exposed to.
IF you live in Houston, please join us TOMORROW at 10:00am at Whole Foods Kirby for a kick-off September is the New January. We'll be doing a free workout on the patio, followed by True Self-Care Fails Confessions. It will be light and fun and free, and will totally get you set up for September being YOUR new January.
If you do not live in Houston, please join is for The Hook: 30-Day Strength Challenge. It starts on September 7th, so by signing up now, you give yourself a chance to get ready. (which is an amazing self-care item in itself)
Yay! Now I get to use one of my favorite words in the whole English language, because I am a nerd and it sounds like something very scientific: Let’s be neophytes together!