Back to Basics
Jul 30, 2019
I rented a SNOO the other night, in a desperate, sleep-deprived haze. You can thank the internet for that and the never-ending dungeon maze that is the search phrase “my baby only sleeps on my chest.”
Within that maze was a taunting beacon of hope, the SNOO, developed by none other than Dr. Harvey Karp of The Happiest Baby on the Block. What is it? Oh, just basically a ridiculously expensive but impressively well-designed bassinet that claims to teach your baby independent sleep within weeks.
I know. I did that. Sleep deprivation and the internet are not a promising pair - unless you’re the inventor of genius bassinets and other trinkets.
In any case, the SNOO arrived and I read through all the material excitedly and, once my hands were free of a nursing/crying/napping babe, I put that thing together. A few clicks, a WiFi connection, a cute little swaddle blanket that gets everything all snuggly.
I’ll cut to the chase, though. I finally did use it during a morning nap, just to test it out. And after the normal infant wake-up a mere 19.5 minutes into a nap, the bassinet sensed her awakeness and automatically started rocking and emitting white noise and heart beat sounds and all sorts of “soothing.” There was a sound to the rocking, like a zhuzzzzz, zhuzzzzz, and it got louder and louder as to stood in the bathroom watching the whole thing go down.
I tried to be open-minded, remembering all the reviews I read online with well-rested parents talking about the magic of this machine. However, I’m sorry to report that the dang thing didn’t work. My sweet squishy, fleshy baby was like, um no. Um No. Hell No. Get me squishy, fleshy boobs ASAP. Wah wah wahhhhhhh.
And, yes, I tried it again as suggested in the operating manual. And, yes, maybe it will work if I keep using it. But, you know what? The answer is I just don’t have an answer.
A lot of babies don’t sleep. Period. No machine or gentle sleep training or online course are going to make them sleep. You’re either gonna have a babe who sleeps like a champ, or you’re gonna hard-core sleep train at some point, or get a night nurse, or suck it up and live amongst a ton of other women for whom nighttime is another shift of full time awake mothering. And there’s no right way or wrong way, it’s just a personal decision left to the whim of your baby’s unique disposition. Period.
Once I unraveled this and got back to the simple guts of the situation, it felt like those cooking shows when they deconstruct a fancy recipe. No mystery here. The situation then requires my personal attention and my conscious choice in terms of reaction. In other words, I get to decide on my terms what is right for me and for this kid. This also means I have to be willing to know our truth and then shove out the din of the outer world that is trying to sell me complicated, but quick fixes that almost always fail.
It feels rather liberating to live in this lane. To know that each day I’ll learn more about my baby and then I’ll also know more about which version of sleep teaching I’ll have to go. But right now, my job is to remain squishy and fleshy for at least a little bit longer. And that means I need to support myself in every way outside of that temporary, but arduous job. I need to endure. I need to eat well. Exercise. Prioritize sleep over dishes. Connect with other moms. Ask for help. But I do not need to “figure it all out.” Yes, this means I need to do what mothering begs of me in agonizing phases throughout my entire life with my child: Surrender.
So, this August, before the swirly month of September starts, join me as we dive back into the basics of your wellness. What are your core values around exercise, food, relationships, and stress? What do you personally need for each one? If you were to say adios to all you have googled and read and heard, what would remain? How do YOU endure in the most pure, simple way you can?
For me, motivation around my own wellness starts in the deep well of claiming my own truth. That’s what gets me actually taking action on the things that make me whole and healthy. And, yes, they are rarely quick fixes. But, yes, they are always fruitful because they are mine.
Get back to basics. Sign up for our August Challenge. Stop figuring it all out and get back to living with your feet in the muddy ground.
But, for real, tell me how you got your babe to sleep in a SNOO? Hahaha. Cuz I'll try try again. :)
Starts August 5th. Click here to register, whether you are a new member or a current member. Oh, and bring some friends with you!