As most lasting love stories go, I met you exactly when I needed you. I wasn’t looking for you. In fact, I had completely given up on fitness in general. Because of my incredibly suffocating back pain and my invisible autoimmune diseases, it became clear to me that I ought to just give up. I didn’t want to spend another penny on golden carrots dangled in front of me by well-meaning healers, doctors, and trainers. So, right before I met you, I decided that that was that. I was just going to quit.
What people around didn’t know is that along with quitting my job and quitting my healing, I wanted to quit life too. And I spent much of my days planning how to do this in a way that no one would know was purposeful, so that my daughters wouldn’t have thatstory.
This is what depression looks like. This is how we suffer.
How could I tell anyone, though? There was no hotline or resource...